Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Are Americans Afraid of Death?
Yes! We can't even seem to say it. We use phrases like "she passed away", "he's passed on" or "she's in a better place now". People never say "Oh she died" because that's considered morbid which is unacceptable to discuss in American culture. Oddly enough, some of my friends and I were talking about funerals and people that we know that have died today at lunch. All the sudden someone realized what we were talking about and said, "Okay let's stop, this is too depressing" and everyone agreed and the conversation immediately ended. I don't think the subject is taboo, but it definitely makes us uncomfortable. I think this is the case because our American values, such as valuing youth. We all want to be young and even if you are not young, there's plastic surgery, botox, skin treatments, hair dye, etc. to make us look younger. The elderly on the other hand are more of a burden according to our culture. Many of don't take of our parents or grandparents when they can no longer take care of themselves, we put them in nursing homes for others to deal with. Aging, of course, is associated with dying and for this reason we look at death as an off-limits subject. Our material culture also probably plays a part in this. We are so obsessed with material things which obviously won't trenscend after death so we worry what will be left of us after we die. No one will remember us for the things we owned and that scares us because some people don't have anything else to show for their lives.
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I agree with "Aging, of course, is associated with dying and for this reason we look at death as an off-limits subject."
ReplyDeleteWe don't like to talk about death,maybe because we're scared of the subject or because it's sad. It shouldn't be a reason to avoid it because we all go through it.
We are afraid of aging. I hear people all the time look at older people and say, "If I ever look like that just give me the shot." Its really amazing how afraid we are of a natural process. Also, I think its weird that we feel sad when a successful life ends but not when a new life begins and we are unsure of what it is capable of. Great points but I don't remember having that discussion at lunch. Where was I??????
ReplyDeleteI agree that we are all afraid of dying and aging. And like Joey said, I've heard countless people look at someone elderly and say "If I ever turn out like that just shoot me", or "If I ever get like that just put me in a home". We all know we will age, but no one wants to thing about it because it scares them and depresses them.
ReplyDeleteNo one wants to be that old person in the wheel chair, being fed dinner and carried into bed. My mom even says "I don't want to be my mother, I'll be gone by 70" and this is all because she is afraid of dealing with age. She doesn't want to be dependent on others and would wish for a sooner death than be put in a home. We are all going to be old one day. We just need to face that face and get on with the life we have now instead of worrying so much about the future.
ReplyDeleteDeath is one of the hardest things to talk about in our culture. And you're right, not because it's taboo but because it evokes a lot of strong emotions. Dying is something that none of us take easily or have a positive spin on, unlike some other cultures. And you have a really good point on how much effort we put on bettering the lives of younger people in American while we hand off our problems with the elderly to someone else. I wish that could be different because they are the ones who offered so much to all of us and have important stories to tell that they should be taken care of better. I know when my grandma became really sick it was hard for us to put her in a nursing home because we all like taking care of ourselves and don't want to be a burden. When she passed away it was also incredibly difficult because it brings out so many hard emotions that we like to just cover it up. The way we handle death in our culture really frustrates me sometimes.
ReplyDeleteIt's a fine line because if the subject makes everyone uncomfortable, then it is approaching taboo.
ReplyDelete